Contributors: Katie Spencer, LISW-S, Director of Behavioral Health, BrightView; Ruth Irwin, Pastor, Free People Church, Mt. Orab, OH
Grief is one of the most universal—and most personal—experiences we face. It shows up differently for everyone. While some people move through it with the support of family or friends, others find themselves overwhelmed, stuck, or adrift. For those in recovery from substance use disorder, grief can become a powerful trigger—or an unexpected turning point.
National Grief Awareness Day, recognized on August 30, reminds us of the emotional weight of loss—and the importance of creating space to talk about it, especially in addiction recovery.
Understanding Grief and Bereavement
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), bereavement refers to the overall experience of coping with loss, often following a death, but also including the end of relationships, loss of identity, or major life changes. Grief is the emotional, physical, or mental response to that loss. It is deeply individual, influenced by the relationship, circumstances, culture, and personal coping skills.
Grief doesn’t always look like sadness. It can show up as:
- Anger or guilt
- Numbness or confusion
- Anxiety or helplessness
- Fatigue, insomnia, or appetite loss
And it doesn’t follow a straight line. Grief can come in waves—especially during early recovery, when people are learning how to live without numbing or avoiding pain.
Grief in Recovery: Not Just One Loss
Katie Spencer, Director of Behavioral Health at BrightView, says that patients in recovery often carry more than one kind of grief.
“They’re grieving lost relationships, custody of their kids, jobs, even the version of themselves they hoped to be,” she explains. “Substance use can rob folks of so many things.”
While grief can be a powerful motivator for change, it can also threaten sobriety—especially when it leads to disconnection and isolation.
“When people start skipping meetings or say things like, ‘I just can’t deal with this right now,’ that can be a red flag,” Katie says. “Our job isn’t to take away grief. It’s to help people hold onto it—without collapsing underneath it.”
When Loss Opens the Door to Recovery
Watch: “I’m Not Just an Addict. I’m a Father, a Friend, and I’m in Recovery.”
For Brian Prather, grief didn’t just complicate his addiction—it sparked it.
“My mother overdosed and died on Christmas Day. That, mixed with a lot of trauma in childhood, was the cherry on top for a tea kettle that just finally boiled over.”
Exactly one year later, he used heroin for the first time.
“It helped me escape. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin or in the world. Using became my way of coping.”
Brian spent more than 14 years using, including IV heroin, and cycling through 17 treatment centers. But it wasn’t until he accepted his pain—and stopped trying to avoid it—that recovery became possible.
“When the pain gets so great that you either want to die or accept change… that’s when it started.”
Today, Brian is more than three years into recovery. He credits BrightView not only with providing medication assisted treatment (MAT) and counseling, but with giving him something even more powerful: dignity.
“They treat you like a human being, not just an addict. My counselor knows me deeper than 95% of people do. And that’s helped me unlock some of the deepest secrets I never thought I could share.”
He’s also rebuilding the relationships that matter most—his wife, his daughter, and his sense of self.
“I wake up with peace. I like who I am. And I know my daughter sees me as a loving father—that’s everything.”
Watch: A Father’s Redemption Through Faith
Faith, Grief, and Healing: A Pastor’s Perspective
Watch: Pastor Ruth Irwin shares a message of hope during an interview on grief and recovery.
Pastor Ruth Irwin of Free People Church in Ohio sees grief frequently among those in recovery—and she believes its roots run deep.
“The basis of grief is often feeling a lack of self-worth—feeling unseen,” she says.
For those who feel abandoned by God or spiritually broken by loss, Pastor Ruth turns to Scripture to remind them who they are.
“We use scriptural truths to show them their identity in Christ. We help them understand that the pain they’ve experienced wasn’t the heart of God—it was the result of a fallen world.”
She explains that grief can become a spiritual crossroads—where people desperately seek answers.
“Why didn’t He protect me? Why did this happen? We don’t always get clear answers, but we help people rebuild trust—in themselves, in others, and in God.”
That rebuilding is most powerful when churches and treatment providers work together.
“We don’t want a Band-Aid for addiction. We want sustainable recovery,” she says. “When people feel seen and loved unconditionally, they begin to trust—and healing follows.”
At Free People Church, their motto is “Get free. Live free.” Ruth believes that faith and treatment both play vital roles in recovery.
“Treatment speaks to the body and mind. Faith speaks to the spirit. We were created for community with the Father. And when people understand the love of God, they can finally begin to heal.”
One scripture she often turns to is Psalm 23—a reminder of God’s presence in even the darkest valleys. Her message to anyone who feels broken by grief or addiction?
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a son or daughter of the Most High. And addiction doesn’t negate that. With God, every day is a clean slate.”
The Link Between Grief and Relapse
- 34% of individuals in addiction treatment show signs of complicated grief.
- Grief can increase risk for depression, anxiety, and substance use.
- Children who lose a parent are twice as likely to struggle with addiction later in life.
Understanding and supporting grieving patients isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Tools for Navigating Grief in Recovery
Recovery doesn’t mean an end to grief. But it does open the door to healthier ways of moving through it. Here are strategies recommended by SAMHSA and BrightView’s care teams:
- Support from friends, family, or recovery peers
- Celebrate Recovery, 12-step, or grief support groups
- Journaling or artistic expression
- Spiritual practices: prayer, meditation, ritual
- Time in nature or physical movement
- Professional therapy or grief counseling
- Acknowledging grief through small acts of remembrance
Grief may not go away—but with the right support, it doesn’t have to define the future.
You Are Not Alone
At BrightView, we believe in treating the whole person. That means making space for grief, helping patients process pain, and walking with them toward healing. Whether you’re in recovery or supporting someone who is, you don’t have to do it alone.
“Grief doesn’t mean you’re broken,” Katie Spencer says. “It means you’ve loved. And there’s still more life ahead.”
If you or someone you love is struggling, BrightView can help. Call us anytime at 888-501-9865 or visit www.brightviewhealth.com to get started.